Homesickness happens. It does not happen to all students, it doesn’t always look the same, and it doesn’t happen at the same time for everyone. So how do you know when it is happening? Or how to help?
We have had a student that didn’t get home sick until May, one that arrived to us homesick, and one that never got homesick. The two we currently host have not as of yet showed any extended signs of it, they miss home for sure and sometimes it comes out but nothing yet for us to worry about.
In the students that did have actual homesickness it showed up as a sort of depression, they didn’t want to hang out or talk to us or do much of anything:
The Italian girl who’s homesickness showed up in May was easier to deal with because we already had a relationship with her and she was going home in a month. We encouraged her, once we figured out why she suddenly retreated to her room and wouldn’t talk to anyone, to enjoy the remaining time on exchange. And she did, she made the best of her last month but she left two days after graduation. She couldn’t get home fast enough.
The German girl who showed up with it, after the 10 day camp, was trickier because she was 1) physically ill (turned out the be an ear infection—crap start to the year) and 2) just off camp and a lot of students end up being “camp sick” (going from doing fun things all day every day to a new and strange real life). So a little chat with her bio parents helped us learn that it was actual homesickness plus the physical illness. So our first task was to take care of her illness and then we were able to have some fun (beach days, theme parks, game nights) before school started. Once she got into school and was feeling better the homesickness vanished; by the end of the year she didn’t want to leave and extended her stay to the limits of her visa.
So what can you do when it shows up in your student? The main thing to do when your student experiences homesickness is to keep them busy. Especially with mundane everyday things: chores, errands, school work, and/or sports. Incorporate some extra family time with games nights or going out to eat or to a movie. And encourage them to make plans with the friends they have met here. Also it would be good to limit their communication with back home for a while, at least until the worst of the homesickness is over (as it just will make it worse). Most importantly make sure they know you are there to talk, that you want them to share their feelings with you because you can help or at least try to.
There is no way around homesickness, they just have to go through it. It’s a shitty feeling but it’s also a normal one. So if your student experiences homesickness while with you let them know it’s normal and that you are there for them.
Also, fun fact: there is a reverse homesickness when they go back to their home countries and they miss America, their host family, school, and friends.