Birthdays can be a fun and sad experience for an exchange student. Sad because they are away from their home county, families, and life-long friends. Fun because they get to learn how Americans celebrate birthdays and then celebrate it with their new extended family and friends. Depending on when your student arrives and when their birthday is you could have gotten to know them and they’ve made friends or it could be right after arrival. So that depends on how you handle celebrating it.
We have had both scenarios. This year (class of 2021) one of our students was supposed to arrive to us ON her birthday; but Covid changed all that, so hopefully (if the visa situation gets back on track) she will arrive a week to two weeks ahead of her birthday. Either way it is an immediate celebration to be had! Luckily for us we have been talking to both girls since November of 2019, so we feel we know them at least enough to do a family style celebration for her birthday. Gifts are harder for the birthdays that are right away, what do you get them? Gift cards are a good idea, maybe to bath and body works, a clothing store, sport store, or Starbucks: so they can get some things they will need for the year anyways and then maybe some caffeine to help with the shopping. We also include a few more personal items, but again we have been able to get to know our students, at least over chats, before their birthdays.
Birthdays in general can be whatever you would do for your own kid. Do they want a party? Would you consider hosting a party for them? If the answer is “No”, that is okay, it is your house. They can have friends meet at a restaurant or activity (laser-tag, put-put golf, bowling, so forth) instead. We usually let our student pick the dinner location and buy their dinner, cake/dessert and gifts at home. If they want to have a friend thing too that is awesome! I want them to celebrate with their new American friends too.
America has sweet 16 parties and Italy has over-the-top party for 18. Our first student was Italian and she turned 18 while on exchange and her family decided to come and take us and her American friends for an elaborate dinner. Limo, fancy dresses, expensive wine for the adults, a huge cake, and dad wanted fireworks—which we had to explain we couldn’t do. Our student showed us videos of her friends’ parties in Italy and I kid-you-not these birthday parties were fancier than my wedding. So, it was a success and everyone had a great time. (Note: her family was trying to surprise her and not tell her or us they were coming but they needed us for logistical things so we were eventually informed, I would have been pissed if they just showed up with no warning—mostly because we would have made plans for her birthday and we needed the time to mentally prepare for a house full—they did stay at a hotel—of Italians where only half spoke English).
Prepare for some homesickness or general sadness around their birthdays, for most of these teens this is the first birthday away from their family and that can be a big deal. Deal with it the same way you would deal with homesickness any other time of the year, keep them busy and talk to them. Make this birthday a little extra special.
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