Make rules. If you have kids, expand on their rules. If you don’t have kids (in living the house), make rules. It is better to have too many rules than too few. It’s easier to take away something, or be slack on it, then it is to add a rule. And each student presents you new things that you will need new rules about.
For example: I thought it would be common curtesy not to talk to FaceTime/phone on speaker in the common areas where people are trying to do other things. It is not. We had to make a rule about using headphones for conversations in common areas, or better yet take your calls in your room! (Fun note: I am starting to notice full ass grown adults doing this same thing in public places. Drives me insane. Soooooo rude.)
So you’ve made some rules. Now type them up and print copies. Like one for each student, one for you, and one for the fridge/command center. This is so they cannot use the “I didn’t know” bullshit, it is there in black and white. Also save it somewhere you can edit it, because again I’ve had to add or amend rules EVERY year.
My list of rules that I hand out (this is like on day 3, gives them some time to adjust) also includes household information. Example: where we keep food, and yes you can eat it, other than my Keto shelf (because those things are expensive); where you can keep things in the bathroom; yes you can hang things on your walls just ask for help before you do. Things like that, so my “rules” page is pretty long but more are not actual rules.
My “General Rules” example (not the full thing I give them):
1) Clean up after yourself.
2) Curfew: Weeknights—7pm for dinner Weekends—-11pm (unless otherwise discussed); after 9 on weeknights is quiet time (because Matt gets up very early).
3) Please keep front and back door locked at all times, unless you are outside in the yard (or one of us is).
4) When you go out, please keep us informed of where you will be, with whom, and when you will return.
5) Chores: vacuum and clean bathroom on Sundays and help with dishes during week. (See chore chart)
6) Please give us sufficient notice if you need a ride somewhere (including if you need to go to the store).
7) No phones at meals.
8) When using phone (music/video/calls) in common space please use headphones.
9) Turn things off when not using: lights, tv, music, heater/fan.
10) School items and sports equipment are to be kept in your room (when not in use).
If you do not know, common sense does not exist in most teenagers. It just doesn’t. So that is why there are some things that are just like “duh”. But yeah I need to spell it out for some, so everyone gets the ridiculous list.
I am contemplating adding a “no phone in the bathroom” rule for next year. With one bathroom and two teenage girls consistently arguing over who gets the bathroom first since they take forever because they are on their phones, it might be a must! And yes I’m guilty of this but I still get my business done and I’m out of the bathroom. They are literally taking phone calls while in there and watching 45 minutes worth of videos before they even turn the water on for the shower. It's insane. Note: we do have an on-suite bathroom that we let them use when the other is hogging the bathroom, but it is still an issue that we are battling. Something new every year.
So remember “I make the rules” and they need to follow them. And if they are regularly not following them you need to call in your IEC or program advisor.
Good Luck!
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