First blog about hosting exchange students. Naturally it should be about where you start and that is picking your student out (assuming you chose a company that lets you choose——can’t recommend highly enough for this option). Now remember what I will be sharing is my experience with my students and the hosting company I use.
Picking your student out is a fucking weird process. It feels like shopping. And judging. And in the end you still aren’t really sure if you made the right “purchase”…ahem…I mean choice…until you have least spoken with that student (if not until they are living with you).
The company I use has a list of the students’ applications in their database that you can choose to read through. Some have videos too, this is my favorite way to pick students, you can’t hide as much with a video than written answers. So, the database has options to narrow your search…this is where it gets that shopping feel…you can narrow by gender, countries they are from, age, if they are willing to attend religious services (they are not allowed to be forced to do this!), English levels, and so forth. We have been double hosting for a couple years now so that is one of our major filters we use, if they are open to double placements; if they have a video is another big one for us.
We have had 5 students (including this year: 19/20) and all 5 have been Europeans. Next year (20/21) we are hosting our first student from Asia. I’ve been nervous about dealing with a larger version of culture shock and the openness of our very small rural school, which is why we haven’t had an Asian student yet. But after 5 young ladies I believe we can handle the culture shock and we have learned that the school (students, teachers, and staff) are super welcoming to all of our students.
Thus when picking your first student pick a country you are either interested in or have some familiarity with; our first student was Italian. We had been to Italy, love the food, have read their stories, and researched their history. We had a general idea of their culture. We only hosted 1 student our first year. One fun fact we didn’t know about Italian culture was that mothers do EVERYTHING for their children (well into their adult years), which made some things difficult that first year. While she was 17 and mature in some ways, she couldn’t and didn’t know how to cook or clean up after herself. She was used to someone else automatically doing things for her, now by the end of the year she could cook herself healthy simple meals and she could do basic cleaning. Note: when her mother came to visit us during Spring Break she reverted to letting mom do everything. So there is always something to learn about your students home culture.
Also take age into consideration. Generally speaking, the younger they are the less mature they are. For your first student, especially if you have never had teens under your care, it might be wise to pick 17/18 year old. We’ve hosted all the ages and I find that 16 is a great age, because they are a bit more mature but still not in that “I’m an adult” attitude. But, every student is different and their cultural background plays a huge part in where in maturity they are.
Alright. You’ve gone through the filters and found some students to look closer at, now it’s time to read through the applications. Something we have found is that the students (not all but a good many) are groomed on how to answer those questions. Also! Super important to remember is some of those teens filled those applications out up to 2 years before they arrive at your home, and that’s a lot of teenage growing and changing in those years. Sure they played piano when they wrote it but 2 years later they gave that up and are now into breakdancing. So what I am saying is don’t take the hobbies too seriously, because they may have changed. Read the applications/watch the videos looking for personality. Will they go well with your family? Naturally they are also putting their best foot forward, they aren’t going to share that they sleep ALL day or take days getting ready to go anywhere, so when they move in give them some room to adjust and don’t just fuss that this wasn’t in the application. You have to learn to read between the lines, and after you’ve read 100 or so applications you will be able to spot the bullshit and find the honesty in them. This is also why I like videos, it is easier to showcase their personality. I like when they film some in their bedrooms because I believe that you can tell a lot about a teenager from how their room is decorated. We choose one girl just on her video: she had a band that I love’s poster on her bedroom wall, her music choice for the video, and she showed her goofy side.
Some tips on choosing your student:
If you hate sports don’t pick a sporty kid. If you hate the arts don’t pick a kid that is into them. Kind of basic I know, but I have seen mismatched families/students because they ignored this basic thing.
Know that cultures are different so if you expect your student to help with chores: look for specific chores that they listed that they do at home. “I help clean the house” means nothing. They are told they will be expected with chores so a lot will just throw that in there to be more appealing. Now if you are willing to “train” them don’t worry about it, I have managed with students that never did anything before arriving to me.
Allergies! Do you have animals? Don’t pick a student with animal allergies unless they state that they are okay with living with animals and taking allergy meds (some already do this at home). Food allergies are a bigger issue. We live in peanut country so having a student allergic to peanuts might be difficult. Food allergies shouldn’t deter you but make sure you have a realistic plan to deal with it. We are hosting a student with a gluten and dairy allergy and we know we can deal with it because I understand them and know how to avoid those foods.
Special diets. It’s easier for an omnivore family to host a vegetarian than a vegetarian family to host an omnivore student. If you aren’t vegan maybe don’t host a vegan student. Life will be harder and you will end up making multiple meals.
Religion. Pick a student that you think will fit best. My husband is a Christian that doesn’t go to church and I am a Humanist so we generally pick students that are not active in their religion or students that have no religious affiliation. This works best for us.
Grades from home. Our company requires that they keep a C average, we like it higher but understand that language can be an issue (so long as they are showing an effort a C is acceptable). So look at their grades from home to determine how studious they are and decide based on your expectations.
That’s all I have right now, I am always open to answering questions, but go from here and look at some students and see if you can find a great match to your family. And if you haven’t applied yet, apply to host. Go, do it now!