Everyone involved in exchange students has heard a horror story, but this is the exception not the rule. As humans we tend review or speak loudly about negative things that have happened to us or someone we know or really whatever we read online. The happy customers don’t always post reviews because they are busy being happy.
The exchange year is like a roller coaster, there are ups, downs, and some spots fly by while others feel super slow. Just like in life there are good times, bad times, and the everday times. The horror story is either a one time incident that is beyond the normal “bad” times or the bad times outweigh the good ones.
Sometimes the horror story is just a terrible match, it can be hard to look a student’s application and get a feel for their personality, so on occasion a student gets a host family that is just an oil and water situation. Oil and water will never mix; and as long as everyone gave it their best it is up to you to decide what to do. Not getting along is not a reason to send a student home but it might be a reason for them to move to a new host family. Talk to your IEC.
Other times it is cultural differences and not understanding how to communicate with each other. Never assume the student knows what you want, you need to tell them in a very direct (but polite and kind) way. This alone can ruin an exchange, it can cause a sour taste for the host family and they might not want to host again, even though every student is different. And believe me every student is different, even those coming from the same country. A lot of these type of problems are usually built up over time and then explode, but these can be solved with some good communication skills, even if you need a third party (like your IEC) to help navigate. Again, unless it is a very serious situation, this is not a reason to send the student home. And again you need to decide what to do. Can you work together and remedy the issues, even if you need outside help? Or is the relationship beyond repair? If you believe that absolutely nothing can be done to turn the experience around then ask your IEC to find your student a new host family.
In a worst case scenario the student did or got involved in a terrible situation. This happens. They are teenagers. American teenagers do the same, even the good ones. A lot of the times it is the American teenage friends that help the student get into a situation, particularly if it is an alcohol, drug, or partying thing. They are warned against doing illegal things such as drinking and drugs and also getting pregnant, these are all “send home immediately” actions. Obviously there are other things that can happen that are not illegal (or in the automatic send home category) and then your exchange company would decide what to do.
There is always a horror story to every experience: travel, buying new car/house, dealing with doctors/insurance, and having teenagers in your home (your own or otherwise). Why would hosting exchange students be different? Education First (EF) brings over 3,000 students in to the US every year and that is just one company. So, yes some “bad eggs” will slip through or some perfectly lovely students will be paired a perfectly lovely host family and they will just not be perfectly lovely for each other or something will just happen that no one could predict. Sure you can listen to the horror stories and take caution but I wouldn’t let them scare you away from hosting an exchange student. Nor should one bad experience turn you off the idea forever, I would take a break, regroup, and try again. If you are worried about those terrible experiences take extra time in picking your student, express clearly what you expect from them from the very beginning and remind them often (because teenage brains will forget they are inside a skull), and stay on top of negative behavior—don't let it build to an explosion. And use your IEC and other support members to help you and your student through any issues.
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